At this point, I am just about 1/3rd of the way through The Book of Awesome. I’m probably going to start running out of stuff to say soon enough…
(61) The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter (pg 117)
Oh, well, I haven’t run out of things to say here!
I used to love peanut butter. It was toasty, tasty and still relatively healthy compared to other snack foods.
Around 2011, my allergies started to get weirdly out of control. I’ve always had allergies – trees, pollen, dust, some foods. Suddenly, as of this year, I was getting itchy all the time and headaches and sinus pains much too frequently. I knew I had sinus issues, sure, but this was too often. And then the worst happened…
I found out I was allergic to apples. My favourite fruit, that which everyone associated with ME, and I was allergic to it!
From there it was a steady fall of other fruits – peaches…pears…plums…pineapple…
Then other foods – shrimp, mushrooms, zucchinis, cashews, almonds, pecans and yes…peanuts.
I am very fortunate to not be anaphylactic at this stage, but it has reached the point where I can’t even have regular – non-peanut, just chocolate – M&Ms because my throat starts feeling bruised and swollen.
Allergies are thought to be cyclical, so there’s a chance I might not always have them, but I’ve been having allergy injections for about two years now and I still have had pretty severe reactions, so it’s not something I like to risk. (I can’t even go near apple trees or orchards because I start to react – I even had a reaction walking by some in our kitchen one time.)
So, with all this on my plate (or, that is to say, not on my plate) – I am relegated to eating soy nut butter. Namely – as seen to the right – WOW Butter.
And lemme tell ya, it’s okay as a substitute, the consistency is close, as is the look, so you don’t feel so left out on the peanut butter front… but it’s still not peanut butter.
I have yet to find anything aside from Wow Butter that I can actually eat and even that I shouldn’t have to often because it’s made of soy and apparently it’s easy to become sensitive to soy too…
I have tried Sunflower Seed Butter, but it’s not creamy and doesn’t taste anywhere close to the deliciousness of peanut butter.
I am very jealous of people without allergies! I would even settle for just the peanut allergy as long as I could have other nuts – almond butter and almond milk and the like seem like fine substitutes to have!
Alas, I guess those things are just not meant for me…
(62) Hearing a stranger fart in public (pg 119)
What am I supposed to say about this one??
It is pretty funny, I’ll give you that. Sometimes it’s mortifying, though, and you feel so bad for that person. Actually, you know what this makes me think of – that German word that means you feel embarrassed for someone else’s embarrassment.
Ah, here it is:
That’s me. That’s how other people’s public farts make me feel.
(63) Perfectly toasted toast (pg 122)
This. This is my perfect toast.
To some of you, this is probably WAY under-toasted to be a good piece of toast and some of you will think it’s even too toasted. The point is – we all have our ideal and I can bet no two people have the exact same version of perfection.
Even when it comes to what you put on your toast – what does everyone prefer?
As you’ve seen above, I eat Wow Butter, so my current favourite of late is slathered in Wow Butter, with a bit of raw honey. On the days when I am trying not to have too much Wow Butter, some regular butter and honey, or coconut oil and honey are good too. If I could still have peanut butter, I’m sure that’d win out though!
(64) When someone unjams the photocopier for you (pg 123)
These angels, who come along and do this are a GOD-SEND! I am glad now that I have had a ton of experience with a variety of photocopiers at my various jobs, internships and volunteer opportunities over the years because at first they were just so intimidating.
The intimidation factor goes up when you consider that photocopiers in this day and age aren’t just about photos or copying, they have all this newfangled computerized technology so you can email and scan and download your entire genetic makeup and life history (okay, maybe not that…yet).
About 4 years ago, at one of my jobs, I realized something that I feel I ought to share with all of you, as a Public Service Announcement, just in case it ever happens to you:
Sometimes the “jam” isn’t a JAM at all!
It’s the computer memory thinking it’s a jam
…but there’s nothing at all in the way!
For a good half hour, my coworker and I ripped apart our photocopier, trying to find where the pesky piece of paper had gotten lodged. We literally pulled out EVERY paper – all stacks, all loose sheets. We managed to find a moderately jammed piece of paper and got it out in one piece – not a single tiny corner left behind (sometimes those are the culprit that’ll ruin the whole thing!) and yet the screen kept flashing “Paper Jam.”
She eventually gave up and went back to work, deciding she no longer had the time or patience for the infernal device, but I was determined.
I wasn’t about to let some boxy robot tell me what’s what!
After double checking all of the trays again, I started to wonder…
Wait a minute…
What if it wasn’t an issue with the photocopier itself, so much as it was the computer screen?
I scoured the photocopier for some sort of indication of the make and model, and managed to find a number I could search.
Sure enough, I found out that it was not uncommon for photocopiers, particularly of that make, to accidentally store when a jam had happened in its memory!
I found instructions to clear the memory and voila! Good as new.
This happened again recently on a different photocopier at a different work place, so it is much more common than you’d think. So the next time your photocopier is telling you it has a jam and you’re sure it doesn’t, heed my advice!
(65) Reading the nutritional label and eating it anyway (pg 124)
Sometimes, he’s right, you just have to live a little! It’s okay to take that chance every so often – so long as your personal health allows for it – but…it is a bit scary to look at something and see your ENTIRE’S DAY worth of sugar allotment.
(66) When you’re watching one of your favourite movies and you realize you don’t remember how it ends (pg 125)
I can’t see this ever happening – at least not with me. If a movie is a favourite, I will definitely remember what happens because that means I’ve watched it a billion times.
I can see it happening with a good movie that, maybe, I’ve only seen once. This actually did just happen a little while ago with my family and the Liam Neeson movie, Non-Stop.
We’d all seen it before, we’d all enjoyed it and yet, for the life of us, none of us could remember who the actual “bad guy” turned out to be.
We knew it wasn’t Liam Neeson, but it literally could have been anyone else.
And even though we’d seen it before, we were all gripped, trying to remember until the big reveal. (Just a note that my dad was right on with his guess.)
I find this is something that happens often too with shows like Law & Order, where you remember the episode is good, but you have no clue who actually did it. (That is, until they started to have a lot of famous and flashy guest starts, then it just turned into, “Oh, hey, *insert big name celebrity here* is guest-starring…They did it.” :p )
And that’s where we shall adjourn for today (that Law & Order bit and The People vs. OJ Simpson are getting too into my brain!)